


I See a River

by awkwardtypeos



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Theatre, High School Theatre AU, Humor, Marco's a sexy singing water polo boy, Mr. Smith the Drama Teacher, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, STD Connie, Urinetown AU, inspired by jean-bo-peep 's au posts, stage manager Jean, theatre virgin Marco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4350245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardtypeos/pseuds/awkwardtypeos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean wandered into the first day of auditions asking himself why he was alive at this exact moment. Why was he here of all places? He probably had other lives, other destinies. He could have been an astronaut, or living off a rich family with his own personal pool boy. Maybe he was a cool spy or in sports.<br/>But life was cruel. Instead of all these possibilities, here he was, Jean Kirstein, high school senior and stage manager for a musical about pee.<br/>Ok, it wasn't all about pee. There was more to the story than that, but still. Putting out any potty related humor in high school was bound to end badly.<br/>And the title's awful.</p><p> </p><p>Inspired by jean-bo-peep's Theatre and Techies AUs.<br/>Connie made the stage lights too bright, and Jean has to recover from realizing the their Mr. McQueen is incredibly attractive.<br/>Or, alternatively titled, 'Marco the Hot Water Polo Player learns why there's a Giant Box of Condoms in the Sound Booth.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What kind of musical is this?!

“So I Googled 'You're in Town' last night, and based on my, uh, zero results, you made this musical up or bought it off a dying Indie screenwriter," Jean says, staring down the heavily built man in front of him, who then proceeds to let out a hoot of laughter.

"Oh kid, I knew Connie would screw this up," Mr. Smith leans forward a bit in his chair, smiling deviously. "It's not 'You're in Town', its 'Urinetown'."

"Urinetown?"

"Yup."

"Like...urine? As in, pee?"

"Yes."

"Let me get this straight," Jean pauses, scrunching his face into a grimace. "You want to put on a musical named 'Pee Town' at a public high school? "

"Urinetown. And don't forget," Mr. Smith continues, “I want you to stage manage it."

"...Why the fuck not?"

 

* * *

 

 

Jean wandered into the first day of auditions asking himself why he was alive at this exact moment. Why was he here of all places? He probably had other lives, other destinies. He could have been an astronaut, or living off a rich family with his own personal pool boy or girl. Maybe he was a cool spy or in sports. But life was cruel. Instead of all these possibilities, here he was, Jean Kirstein, high school senior and stage manager for a musical about pee.

Ok, it wasn't all about pee. There was more to the story than that, but still. Putting out any potty related humor in high school was bound to end badly.

And the title's _awful._

But, here he was, sitting at a flimsy folding table next to Mr. Smith, drama teacher at Maria High School, and Connie Springer, the Student Technical Director of the year. The shorter version is STD, but it’s always better to introduce him in his full title before teenagers start yelling about sexual diseases.

Speaking of yelling, Connie apparently forgot to bring in the actual audition papers from the printer, and is now running away in flip-flops while Mr. Smith hollers at him.

Just dandy.

"So, Jean, are you ready for auditions today?" He asks Jean, pulling out a notebook.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Still not sure why you think I'm ready for this." Jean sighs, and fiddles with a stray pencil. "I've only worked one show so far."

"But you were great at it! You get to those kids in a way I can't. "

"Yeah because if you did there would be a criminal investigation," Jean smiles.

"That was really unnecessary.” Mr. Smith deadpans.

 

* * *

 

 

"How about Jason Funderburker? He signed up for tech." Mr. Smith inquired.

Jean took a moment to think. "Uh, never met him."

"I let him borrow a pen once in Physics," Connie chirped in, lining up another set of papers to staple. "He never gave it back."

"True evil,” Jean whispered.

Mr. Smith sighed, looking up from his paperwork, "Oh come on, you boys must know some of these people."

"Well, other than our usuals, only a few names stand out. You got to remember, Smith," Connie says, "This is their senior year. Everyone is trying to do something fun and be a star before minimum wage swallows up their youth."

Jean nods in agreement, and staples the next packet.

Mr. Smith names a few other kids on the list, but Jean is too focused on avoiding paper cuts to take notice. That’s what auditions are for, anyways. To make an impression, to stand out among the crowd.

Finally, Connie finishes up his pile of papers, and Jean follows him out to the lobby. Jean opens the door, and he isn’t even remotely prepared for everything going on. The lobby is just a small space. There's a ticket booth and counter for selling snacks on one side, and a small staircase leading up to the house entrance. There's at least 50 or 60 kids stuffed in here, though. Almost every kid is singing something, and the clashing tunes transform something that may have been pretty decent, into a cacophony of farts from Satan's asscrack.

"Connie!" Jean yells over the noise, "Help me round them up?"

Connie grins and gives a thumbs up. He jumps onto a nearby chair, and bellows "IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, CLAP YOUR HANDS!"

It takes a few more tries, but the crowd starts to comply, and they finally stop screeching and are clapping along with Connie.

He claps one more time, then throws out his arms in a 'shush'ing motion. He turns to Jean, grinning wildly, and steps down from the chair. "I love it when they do that."

"Tell me about it" Jean mumbles, and then turns back to the crowd. "Ok everyone, I'm Jean Kirstein and this is Connie Springer..."

 

* * *

 

 

Jean left Connie to pass out all the papers and was automatically bombarded with questions. Some people seriously don’t know how to read or listen. One girl actually asked him if she could come into rehearsal only once a week because 'color guard comes first'. Another guy asked him if it was easy to pick up girls in drama.

Once all the idiots were tended to, Connie brought in the first group to perform. Luckily, three out of the five were regulars in the department and actually knew what they were doing. Mikasa Ackerman and Annie Lenonhart were great actresses with good work ethic. But Eren Jaeger had a few...issues. He was a great actor and had a good voice, but he was always kind of bad at communication. He always showed up a bit too late because he would get held up with random little events, and never bothered to tell anyone. Since Jean’s job was to plan and organize everything, Eren’s lack for foresight really pissed him off.

Mikasa and Annie were called back for several of the main parts, and Eren was called back for Bobby Strong and Mr. Cladwell. The rest of the audition consisted of mostly ensemble callbacks, although Erwin insisted on calling back Franz for Senator Fipp, and neither Connie or Jean could even picture this pretty chill dude as a creepy, bribe taking politician.

"Ok Connie, next group." Jean yawned, stretching and trying to pop his back. He failed miserably and now something was stuck somewhere _bad_ and _god when will this day be over._

This group had a little blond girl, average sized brunet, a huge blocky African American guy, some other brunet guy, and a chick with badly dyed blue hair.

The first two girls, Krista and Sasha, were pretty good.

"Krista for Hope or Mrs. Strong, Sasha for Miss Pennywise and Little Sally," Jean whispered to Mr. Smith as he took notes, while the jock guy finally left the stage after some prodding by Connie. "Don’t let the big guy in, he's got some major ego issues and he’s tone-deaf.”

"That’s a bit harsh, but he's not getting a callback anyways," Mr Smith whispered back, jotting down some notes before grabbing the next audition sheet. "Marco Bodt?" He read aloud. The brunet guy jumped a little, and almost skittered up to the stage from his seat.

"Somebody's a little nervous," Connie whispers to Jean, and snorts a little as the guy stumbles on stage slightly.

"Shut up man, you dropped a flashlight from the catwalk on your first day," Jean whispers back, and huffs heavily. Hopefully this guy is somewhat decent: only so many boys actually showed up. The guy is kinda tall, average build. His hair looks pretty dumb, parted down the middle, but it’s slightly charming. His green shirt and khakis are kind of screaming ‘Hi I live in a white picket fence house and I love sports.’

"Hi I’m Marco Bodt,” the guy says, in aa much deeper tone than Jean was expecting, “Um, I’ll be auditioning with um 'Ladies Choice' from Hairspray," he says, stumbling a few more times. Jean has to suppress a groan; if he had a dollar for every person who sang Hairspray today...

After plugging his phone into the speaker provided for each performer, Marco set his phone on the ground and took a step back. He took a few deep breaths as the first few chords played, and started off.

 

_"Hey little lady, put me on your shelf..."_

"Shit." Jean heard Connie swear, and had no reason to disagree.

Marco was good.

And not just like ensemble good, or a single liner backup good. Marco sang like he had been trained from birth, and was fucking humble about it. After his performance, Erwin asked him why he wanted to be in the play.

Marco rubbed his finger under his nose, shifting his weight back and forth. "Well, I've been in water polo for a while, but since it as my senior year, I thought I might as well give drama a go."

"What makes you think you'd be a good addition to our production?" Erwin asked, as Connie took down more notes.

"Oh well, I guess I have pretty strong lungs, so um I guess I wont run out of air mid-line?" Marco smiled and let out a huff of laughter at his own joke. Out of all the people so far, Marco was probably the most real, despite his awkward appearance. Jean made up his mind before the blue haired girl even introduced herself.

 

* * *

 

 

"I want him." Jean gasps out as soon as the group is dismissed.

"I thought you hated the big guy?" Mr. Smith says, obviously holding back a teasing smirk.

"You stop that,” jean points an incriminating finger at his teacher. “That Marco guy. He's really talented and not an ass like everyone else."

"I take offense to that!" Connie comments.

"Con, you're a pain in the ass, that’s different."

"Aw that’s so sweet of you.”

“Anyways,” jean continues, turning back to Mr. Smith, “The big buy is out, the blue haired chick for ensemble. I say we call Marco back for Bobby Strong, Mr. McQueen, and Mr. Cladwell.”

“Jean,” Mr. Smith stats sternly, “Marco has never been in a production before. Yes, he is very talented. But do you think he is actually prepared for a lead role?”

“At least let him try, ok? Worst case scenario, Mr. McQueen should fit him just right.” Jean countered.

After filling out the call-back slips, Jean headed back out to the lobby. It was usually Connie's job, but he apparently 'needed to take a giant shit' and left him to the wolves. The policy was to give out the slips, and not to talk to the rejected. Usually those kids just stay quiet, but that jock guy could be trouble. He passed out the callback slips to Krista and Sasha, and after a moment of searching, couldn’t find Marco.

"Hey, um Sasha?" He asked, trying to be somewhat discreet and avoiding the jock's glare. "Have you seen Marco? He was in your group but I can’t find him."

"Oh dude, he's right by the staircase. The guy in the green shirt." Sasha pointed to Jean's right, as a guy leaning against the stair railing, back turned.

"Um, are you sure?" Jean really did not think a dude with that nice of an ass was gangly, innocent Marco.

Sasha squinted at him, with a bewildered look on her face. "Uh yeah? What, you need glasses or something?"

Jean grumbled and headed towards the Guy With the Ass that Sasha pointed at. He was fiddling with his phone, humming under his breath.

"Hey, Marco, right?" He asked the guy, who jumped a bit and turned around.

"Yeah, that's me." The guy said, smiling brightly. Apparently, Connie really needs to tone down the stage lights, because they happened to wash out all of Marco's features.

His hair was as goofy as it looked on stage, but his brown eyes were full and soft. He had a cute little button nose, and his smile showcased dimples. He also happened to have a crazy amount of freckles. And a strong jaw line. And, as mentioned before, one hell of an ass.

"Damn," Jean cursed, and Marco cocked his head to the side in confusion, smile falling a bit. "I mean, um, sorry," He stumbled along, trying to find words. "I didn’t recognize you, shit, sorry."

"Oh um, it’s ok," Marco said, smile falling more.

"N-not because I forgot, or uh anything." Jean stuttered, mentally slapping himself.  "The stage lights wash people out, you see."

Marco's grin returned a bit, and nodded with an, "Ah, I see."

"Oh, um, here. Uh, your callback." Jean handed him the paper, fingers brushing Marco's which were so fleetingly warm, and strong looking-

"Oh, thanks so much! I’m really grateful for this opportunity, really!" He said quickly, face flushed and eyes bright. "I swear you won’t regret it!"

Jean nodded and walked back to the theatre in a daze, sitting down next to Connie silently.

After a long pause, with no noise from Jean, Connie broke the silence. "Dude?"

"Please tell me Marco Bodt is an ass." Jean more or less choked out.

"Oh no."

"What’s wrong?" Mr. Smith asked.

Connie turned to Mr. Smith, and without a tinge of remorse, replied, "Jean wants one of our prized asses."

Jean sputtered and flailed a bit. "Wait- Con, no, that’s not what I was-"

Connie kept talking to their teacher like an idiot. "He didn’t realize how hot Marco is because of the lights-"

"When did I say he was-"

"I can see it in your face, dude."

"I find him attractive but I respect people okay I have morals!"

"Say that to the halfie you’re sporting."

"That’s a crease in my pants you dipshit! Oh my god, stop staring at my dick, and call in the next group. We have like, fifteen more people to go through."


	2. You were a good girl?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Marco, you need to get out of those pants." Jean blurted  
> "Dang, I didn’t know you were so thirsty, dude," Marco smirked devilishly. He went as far as putting his hands on his hips and swaying them side to side.

"Ok, SHUT UP, JEAGER!” Jean bellowed across the stage, cutting off Eren’s rendition of “Do you Hear the People Sing’. He turned back to the script in one hand and attendance list in the other, scanning names. “I’m just trying to - SASHA NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE! Fucking hell, ok...is anyone missing?"

"Marco is running late!" Sasha exclaimed, shooting her hand up amidst the crowd of teenagers. With chips still in her mouth. _Why._

"Why the hell is he late? He has so much to work on," Jean mumbled.

"Something about a test or something, he just texted me he'll be here in like, 5 minutes," Sasha continued. She swallowed the chips. _Thank God._

"Ok, whatever." Jean sighed, running a hand across his face, and then turns his attention back to Sasha and the rest of the cast. "Ok, today we will be working on the choreography for 'Mr. Cladwell'. Spread out and start your stretching exercises, and I’ll be back in a little bit."

Everyone groaned like it was a goddamn marathon, but _for once_ actually started productively stretching. Jean walked back to the dressing rooms, which were connected to the shop area by a hallway. He needed a breather, since Hitch just HAD to take a day off, and Ymir accidentally painted a flat the wrong color, and Marco...  
Marco was the least of Jean's problems, but still...

They had been rehearsing for almost a month now, and he still wasn’t that close to him. After callbacks, the cast list was finalized. Eren would be playing Bobby Strong, the lead, alongside Krista as Hope Cladwell, the love interest. Hitch and Sasha were the main narrators, Officer Lockstock and Little Sally. Watching Mikasa and Thomas Wagner as Miss Pennywise and Mr. Cladwell was awkward to say the least. It seemed Mikasa was far more interested in getting it on with Bobby Strong’s mom.

There are no secrets in drama, and let’s just say Annie owes him big for not ratting them out after an incident behind the cyc.

Then there was Marco. Sweet, talented, insanely hot Marco. Even though he was playing Old Man Strong and Mr. McQueen, which meant Jean saw him almost every day, he barely knew the guy. It was probably better that way, for now. Jean was super busy and had shit to do, but a cute boy on the side can’t hurt, right?

He sighed and opened the boys dressing room, hoping to take a second alone, maybe take a piss. He really needed to avoid looking in the mirror, there’s no telling how messed up his hair was at this point. Between rehearsals, homework, and college applications, he didn’t have time to go to a hairdresser. His darker roots were coming in, and his undercut was overgrown. Not that Jean had anything against that color, especially not when there was such a beauty as Marco…

"Jean!"

_Oh no what now._

Jean turned around and almost got a door in his face as Marco all but ran into the dressing room, talking a mile a minute.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry I’m late, I had this test go missing in Mr. Levi's class, and he signed a note, but I had to help him find it, and then Pixis dropped papers in the hallway, and-"

"Marco its ok! Jesus," Jean cut him off, and took in Marco's appearance while he caught his breath. Jean didn’t get much time to check him out, especially since Connie was always there with a mean comment.

Marco’s hair was slightly mussed from running, no longer parted in the middle and sticking up a bit in the back. He was wearing a form fitting orange tee, and a few woven leather bracelets with beads. Cute. His thighs and ass looked nice in those skinny jeans-

Wait, skinny jeans?

"Marco, you need to get out of those pants." Jean blurted

"Dang, I didn’t know you were so thirsty, dude," Marco smirked devilishly. He went as far as putting his hands on his hips and swaying them side to side.

"Oh god no, no,” Jean started to backtrack, tripping over his words. “Not like that, fuck, um, we are working on choreography, and you can’t dance in those."

Jean’s eyes were still glued to his hips when Marco decided to cock them to the side, extenuating his waist. “What’s wrong with these?” he asked, and Jean slapped his hands over his eyes because this was way too hard right now. Marco was not going to win this fight, sexy legs or not. “I can run across campus in them.”

He could hear the pout in Marco’s voice at this point. “Have you ever tried dancing in skinny jeans? Not just like, side to side stuff, like leg kicks.” Jean groaned from behind his hands.

“Well no, but-“

“Then it’s not up for discussion,” Jean said in a high-pitched sort of whine, and he finally got enough courage to turn away from Marco and uncover his eyes. “We have a few extra pairs of sweatpants here, you can borrow one today.”

“Oh, um okay…” Marco replied as his stage manager started digging through a cupboard. After a minute of searching, and a few mumbled swear words, Jean emerged with a pair of paint splattered sweats. He turned back to Marco and handed them to him.

“Change into these as soon as possible, then get on stage, okay? Everyone’s stretching-“ Jean started explaining, but then his eyes fell to the floor. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Hrm?” Marco responded and looked at the dressing room floor. It was covered in McDonalds food wrappers. There was a half eaten hashbrown in a corner, along with several napkins wadded up next to a trash can. Not in the trash, but next to it.

Jean took a deep, seething breath in his nose. “You know what,” he started, storming over to the trash can behind Marco, “I don’t give a shit, just change. I’m gong to clean this up, and then cut whoever made this mess.”

“Uh, Jean are you sure-“

“Literally no one cares, you could go ahead and change in the middle of the room,” Jean grits out, dragging the trashcan over to the biggest part of the mess. He squats down and starts picking up all the napkins and a twenty piece McNugget box, _who the fuck_? In the haze of Jean’s homicidal episode, he cleaned the big mess far too quickly, and violently turns to his left, searching for the fries packaging that he knows is here too, and gets an eyeful.

Marco is leaning over, picking his ankles out of his pooled up jeans, with his white Calvin Klein covered ass right were Jean can see it.

Maybe Jean does care a little bit, because _damn_.

The best word to describe Marco’s behind was ‘perky’. It had almost a perfect curve to it, and even kept it’s shape when Marco stood up to reach for the sweatpants. He had strong but streamline thighs, splattered with freckles. Interestingly enough, Marco’s legs were shaved. Water polo habits die hard, apparently.

I wonder if he saves anywhere else…

Before Jean can let his mind wander, Marco is pulling up the sweatpants and tying them off. He makes to turn back at jean, but Jean snaps his head back to the dirty floor.

“Um, thanks Jean,” Marco mumbles, and skitters out of the dressing room.

“I’m so fucking screwed,” Jean grumbles, and goes back to cleaning up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying Marco Bodt as a literal tall glass of water and Jean's thirst. (They're both 18 please do not fret.)  
> On the subject of Marco's butt, I enjoy the idea that he has a rockin big booty and big thighs. Yes, he does keep shaving, legs and armpit. He likes strawberry scented shaving cream.
> 
> I'm keeping up the weekly updates, more or less.
> 
> THEATRE TERMS:  
> Flat: A panel of wood that can be used as part of a set. Several flats are usually lined up in a row to mimic a wall.  
> Cyc: short for Cyclorama, a large curtain or wall, often concave, positioned at the back of the stage area. (or in easier terms, the big white thing at the back of a stage, where lights can be projected and mimic all sorts of backgrounds. A cyc is also very sensitive to touch, and stains easily. If you are ever on a stage, never touch this LIKE EVER. Also, if you run behind it, the whole thing will ripple. Don't do that.)
> 
> AUs Used:   
> •OH MY GOD THATS THE WRONG COLOR PAINT……..GET IT OFF THAT WALL NOW AU  
> •Literally no one cares, go ahead and change in the middle of the room (ok maybe I care a little bit because damn) au  
> •I’m the assistant director and stage manager, I have a lot to do so please stop hitting on me au (it’s kind of continuous)  
> •OH MY GOD STOP SINGING LES MIS SONGS WE DID THAT SHOW THREE SEASONS AGO au

**Author's Note:**

> CREDIT TO TUMBLR USER: jean-bo-peep !! They created two big Theatre and Techies AU posts and was my inspiration!
> 
> The rest of the chapters will have specific AUs from their posts listed in the ending notes, as references. For example, the next chapter will include "Literally no one cares, go ahead and change in the middle of the room (ok maybe i care a little bit because damn) au". Each chapter may have more than one little AU within it, so keep your eyes peeled and have fun finding them :3
> 
> I used to be a stage manager in high school so this should be pretty darn accurate, BUT I never actually managed for a musical. I actually missed out on my school's production of Urinetown, but since I knew the entire department and I stopped by a lot (I miss my babies okay sue me). Regardless, feel free to let me know if I do anything wrong or whatever. I do not have a beta currently, because my usual is out of town for a month.
> 
> Theatre AUs:  
> http://jean-bo-peep.tumblr.com/post/122309231853/guys
> 
> Techie AUs:  
> http://jean-bo-peep.tumblr.com/post/123126790578/theater-aus-part-2
> 
>  
> 
> THEATRE TERMS:  
> Student Technical Director (STD): Basically the student head of the techies  
> House: the area of the theatre where the audience sits  
> Call Back: after auditioning for a role or play, an actor or actress recives a paper that has all the roles they are to come back for. For example, Marco might get the part of Bobby Strong or Mr. McQueen. When he gets called back, he is given lines from those characters to see if he fits the part.  
> Ensemble: basically the backup crowd characters, some with lines, some not. In a musical, they make up the majority of the sound in songs.


End file.
